sparkhy:

you might as well wear a condom on your head if you’re gonna act like a dick 

(via sb-aurora)

152,912 notes
hplyrikz:

I can relate to this

zbrexx:

zbrexx:

how did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

he gave her a ring image

(Source: unrellevahnt, via guy)

443,346 notes

surprisebitch:

when you’re babysitting and the kid won’t eat their veggies

image

(Source: surprisebitch, via the-absolute-best-gifs)

327,532 notes
the-study-of-wumbo:

stereolights:

It’s like his snoring got so bad that his wife left him and now he’s just forever alone with his extra-strength Breathe Right strips

maybe the strips were so effective that he inhaled his wife
catholicschoolqueen:

BYE
annstreetstudio:

"Fly the ocean in a silver plane…"
Thoughts on the magic of air travel…
knitmeapony:

ONE TWEET. THIS FIT IN ONE TWEET. IF YOU FUCK IT UP YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE.